When we hope for something in particular we put a lot of thought into what we want and how it will be. We dream. Some are waiting for the right person, or the right career, or that dream home to become available. There is usually some delay between the birth of a dream and it’s fruition. It’s rarely ever instant. While waiting, we can develop and strengthen the important life skill of saying the word ‘no’.
The road to the right yes is paved by many, many no’s. Some easy ones and some really hard ones. It’s such an ironic idea to think about. In order to say yes to the right thing you have to learn to say no to all the wrong things and the not-quites that get in the way. If you say yes to every option or opportunity that presents itself to you, they will quickly take up the space in your life that your dreams were meant to occupy. Worse case they will actually come to fully replace your hope or dream. A scary thought, but there are people are living their lives like this.
We only have so much time, resources, and energy in this life so it’s impossible for us to believe we can say yes to entertaining every possibility that presents itself. A woman can’t possibly date every or any guy that ever expresses his interest nor can a man (respectfully) pursue every single woman that catches his eye. A person has to narrow their focus and choose what/who they pursue wisely. If a person applies to two colleges that accept them, they can’t say yes to both and attend both. We can’t yes to every job opportunity, social outing, new project, this trip or that relationship. We must make hard, important decisions.
Most opportunities are certainly a blessing and shouldn’t be taken for granted, but we are limited in our yes’s so we must take risks sometimes. Sometimes we have to say no to that date, acceptance letter, offer, or friendly invitation if it’s not really what we are looking for. If we spread ourselves too thin will we have the time to see or accept the real thing we want when it shows up?
Yes is a commitment to something. Don’t overcommit to all the plan B’s that you miss out on plan A! Be uncomfortable in the risk. Just say no. Don’t settle for just okay for right now. Even if it’s “close enough” it’s really not it. You could miss out on something so much better!
How I got my current job is one great example of this. At my old job I worked hard covering night shifts and evening shifts at a very busy hospital. After every shift my legs would ache so badly from the physical demand of that job. Mentally, it took a huge toll on me. I prayed to God for a different job not knowing how he would answer. I remember the exact moment I prayed. I was sitting at my computer late at night at work and asked for a night shift job that was 12 hour shifts, full-time, and better pay somewhere else, not at this hospital. I also remember saying to God, “I have no clue how or where this job is going to come from, but I know only you can make it happen.”
Over the following year after that prayer, the romantic relationship I was in ended so I decided to reach out to a recently promoted colleague of mine at another hospital. He said he had a few job openings coming available and I came in for an interview. He offered me a job working 12 hour shifts covering evening shifts and night shifts. I took the weekend to think about it and called him on that Sunday. I was suffering at my current job and yet, I told him, “no, I can’t accept this job.”
I had covered evenings and nights in the past and it was just too difficult for me to cover two different shifts. I was devastated. I was desperate and hurting at my job and was so excited at the thought of this new job, but I knew I couldn’t accept it. I was offered a job, a way out of my pain, and I said no.
The next day he reached back out to me asking me what I was looking for. I told him I did like the job but that I wanted to work only nightshift. He said, “then it’s done.” I was shocked. Just like that I got the job I actually wanted. The exact job I prayed for was now mine.
I had to say “no” to say “yes” at the right time. If I accepted the first offer, it would have been an improvement, but I still wouldn’t have been happy, not truly. I was honest in saying it really wasn’t what I wanted. I took the risk of being stuck at a job for who knows how much longer in order to wait for the right job.
I have never been more grateful for anything in my life. Four weeks after that phone call I was starting my new job. During the first few weeks I would leave work at 7AM with a huge smile on my face practically skipping in the parking lot to my car. Where you work and how it affects you has a huge influence over your life. I felt as if I could finally breathe! My new coworkers were nice and my workload was so reasonable especially compared to the pace I had been working at for 6 long years. No job is ever perfect, but I really love this one!
I started that new job over a year ago now and I am still so so grateful to God for my job! Looking back the timing was perfect for me to get the job I asked for. I was hired during a huge change in their staff and the hospital was adding on a larger ER. It was like God was really setting me up for success and He really prepared a place for me there. He really heard me. It really feels like I’m receiving a gift at last for hurting at a back-breaking job for so long. I’m now reaping it’s reward at this job. I have found my rest from that suffering.
In my distress [when I seemed surrounded] I called upon the LORD And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry for help came before Him, into His very ears. ... He reached from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. Psalms 18:6, 16 AMP
